I understand your point, and understand you dont like the real tall apes look on RG. Thanks for your honesty!
No matter what size of apes 10"-14", if i had them straight up and down, I would have a hard time reaching them.
i have my stock bars rolled as far down as they can go (as close the me as possible tho) and still am stretched( no bending of the elbow) and slightly hunched, with a reach seat. i have super short arms, so if having the bars at my ears is more comfortable, im game.
I wouldnt roll them down too far( at least not farther than the fork angle, probably just up a little more) as I realize that is not aesthetically pleasing.
What I want is the height of the bars so Im about at shoulder height, but have them close to me so I can reach them without having to lean forward to reach them. I have a bulged disc in my lower back, so prefer to ride with my back straight and not kicked back or slumped ,like most Harleys.